When I was a child.....

When i was a child, 

I knew nothing because everything seemed so beautiful. I could enjoy  anything, I had my grasp on, be it just a stone. These days, i tend to judge things, I do it for the value i give about them to me, For their importance for me. If something is beautiful, i judge it.

I don't remember categorizing anything or anyone as ugly or beautiful when I knew less. I wonder what is being fed to me, I loathe being made to  perceive things the way I do now. I possess so many things yet I seek more of everything. When I see people everyday, I start making a table which only contains adjectives and I start to distinguish my surrounding on the basis of my virtual table.

I sat by a temple.There were many people. Different from one another, I sat and created the table in my mind. A little girl was playing around with a smile brighter than the clothes she wore. Despite of my heart seeing the cute big smile, my mind kept on mocking my heart for ignoring her old torn clothes. A guy with not so updated mobile was taking his wife's pictures by the statue. She smiled gracefully like if she had nothing more  to worry about , She wasn't less appealing than a teen age modern girl taking a picture from a fancy camera contentiously making a displeased face after each click. People were taking selfies with mobile phones, Some of them were poking the moment with canon- like cameras, some just at their own with no company. I made assumptions and judged their professions, livelihood, wealth they possessed just by how they appeared at that very moment.I did it.

I punched out off my office earlier than usual and decided to take a walk home. This road which I used to walk a long before. Nothing changed since I last walked this road. The same rotten smell of the polluted river and the dusty atmosphere. I was surprised remembering that I didn't really bother  about all these when I used to walk here before, The foul smell however made me travel back the memory lane. It reminded me how I used to spend my time back then. The wind swept dusty road reminded me how I jogged that place every morning. I stopped for some time, smoked off the day's hardship and continued to go back and forth the memory lane. I had on my on my face a smile throughout.

Now as I think, its surprising how  such a dirty place is likely a reason for my smile.We are so much into matters these days that we deceive ourselves thinking that the only thing that matters is made from particles. Abstracts equally matter!!

I want to be child again for not to live more but to live better.