DustyNEP

The crying song

Hear me while I cry
I cry to be heard
Don't say you don't like it
But listen hey while I cry
I cry and cry and cry
For long as long as you cry with me

I know you don't want to
My pain is you won't get into
You know but I don't take chances
You will know while I cry loud

I won't smile I won't go away
won't look apart until you say
what a lonely day, what a dismay
and oh my tears, rolling ashtray

weep with me, I make you creep with me
long yourself for my pain, forget me!
cry, cry you old snow
for now I wont let you go!!

The hungry cannon

It was a hungry cannon. It had ripped many lives apart. Forged death into villages and towns. Who would travel more than it did? People talked their senses when it geared its wheels. It was a brutal imagination. Into the wildest fantasy. A fantastic concept. Conception of murder, death. violence followed by fear. It had made people swear. promise and commit the unusual. The popular belief of staying young. The fantasy of growing up. Both met their ends. It swallowed a kilo of stone. Fired in the rain while the drops fell. It left behind the ambers of burnt land. Everyone halted their hearts. Stared into the destructed city. Smoke everywhere and the tragedy repeated. The cannon moaned. The cries of homes felt. The ravish sound reverbrated. The old man looked all these and assumed. The nature might have cried. The poor one thought this as the cleansing of souls. The regular feed for the unsatisfied and angry. The savage had cost them a millenium. The milleneum of a good fortune. Of time and sunsets. Of changes due to come. Everyone praised the almighty.

Whereabouts

A leaf falls. The tree swayed the leaf. He didnt compromise. It was a avenge with the wind. For the flattery. For the mock created. Upright, into his own business. He had stood still. He had grown, over all these years. Against all odds. Now is different. The season changed. And did the poor wind. She the wind did not know. For it would change the heart of the summer. She did her part. The tree isnt giving up we know. The monsoon calm and patient awaits. the drill of nature. The wind blowed and the tree shook. The leaf was just learning to grow old. He had turned brown. Weathered by light and the dark. The hustle did not last for the aged leaf. He gave away to the call of nature. He shot himself down the air. Into the lane for a change. He is now no more a leaf. He is a manure. He might turn into ashes. He might die and rot in the mud. Either way, the tree won. The wind passed. And the season changed.

Love, is it?

I loved you In all my pain and pleasures. In all my insuffeciencies and compromises. In all my joy and living. I thought of you, leaving every second to pass. I wished for you in my bedside in the evenings. Into the rising warmth till the setting cold. I breathed you into me endlessly. I was afraid if i lose you, i will be broke. I shouted of you so rear, nobody knows. I know that you are living inside me. I could now let you live and make my heart glow. I but know i will rather live inside someone who doesnt know. I will surpass every bit of you to find my next love. I know you will not be sad. I will not ever let you be sad and you know why? I know a trick. I love you!!

A few minutes of life

Last night was full of dreams. I was hitting the zero gravity. Nothing pulled me out. I was into deep and intimate conversation with myself. The inner me who seldom Laughs. Who doesnt praise but prays. It was a cruise into the deepest hour. I couldnt help after waking up. lit a light and camoufladged myself. Into the serene cloud. I hid until i was lost. I hid until i no longer could find myself. The best memory is no memory at all. I put the cigarette out and drew under blanket. I put my head under the pillow and gasped. It was a sad story. I could no longer bring me back from the vape. I was lost in the drama produced by the lights. I knew i had nothing to do except dreaming. Nothing done and gone. Nothing raised and solved. Everything lucid. Everything floating. I waited till the sun hit my bed.

symphony of Solace

Hunt for solace is a powerful drug The more you indulge, the more tripped you are. Bypassing it sometimes is a miracle. You could make some value by only searching for the peace within. It may as well sometimes be harmful. For it clears you of purpose. Followed by crisis, you may give away permanently. But a point comes where you may have to decide whether you will step further or go back to the axis. The axis of infinity. The so called wisdom. The power of having everything by having nothing at all. The nirvanna.

Its time!

A light blue cascade of laughter. For the one who wishes to smile and laugh. He who has the price paid. Done with his sorrows and woes. Needing for a quiet exhalation. A numb ending but a wonderful start. Wishes were already conspired. Theatre was already set. A long feet wood self. The color of a sky lies beneath the land. The prince is calm now he doesnt need a praise. The people but figuring out how beautiful he was. The hosts with a black cloak. The rain pouring the reign of evidence. Looks like a well orchestrated play. Where heaven meets hell. Where life meets death. The meaning gets its words. The tragedy meets a celebration. A zero sees miles. The blue sky becomes a showman. Twenty four hours never ending play. A prestigious legacy conquered by time.

song of the rain

Stranded on my feet. Given away to the thunder. Guessing my life through the rain song. My boots are damp and i am ready. To go into the valley. With you swinging me through the road. Of mud and rain. The afternoon is delighted with the storm. Welcomes the pour while i have to stay. Staring at the drain. The drain of a warm summer. With the noisy monsoon. I wait patiently. For the wind to take me within.

The allegory of the cave

Something has lived in this den. The allegory of the outside world is true. This doesnt represent the darkness of the inside. The resentment of not letting onself in search of higher light. Maybe the one who dared to move outside knew things. Or maybe he is just a lunatic. Who got maddened by the blinding light. Or maybe he wanted to just breathe. Not letting away the discourses inside the cave. Talks with noone but himself. Stipulating the world from inside a cave would be difficult. Until he reached him for himself. Undeniable truths about the shadows. The damp and dark ascend. The black hole just a few walls away. The images inside the walls, all black. The stream flowing to lord knows where. All the despises of not knowing whats in a light. All the thirst in going to the lord forbidden sun and moon. Of which they only heard and whispered. Everybody in a place. Only lord knows if this is a heaven. Or a hell.

Living a denial

A question to self. A dive into the curious future. With doubtful reasons and unclear logics. The need for change demanded by the hour. I am wishful but i cannot do. I, reluctant to change. For what, because I dont know. I would say I am still not vivid. Used by some and thrown by all. The topic of life still interests me. The reason i might die one day is called life. Full of possibilities and breakthroughs. For everyone, every soul to endure. I am still a seeker. I seek for the best reason for me.
To end this life and not pick it up again.

Who am I?

I am amplified between a curious device. Encountered for gust and hostility. I am jawed for knowledge. Loved by money not outrage. Produced by questions and answers. Respected for stigma of tiredness. And ushered light of violence and war. Come to me, cross your youth. For I am an old man, for you to hear and not to pick.

Intervening the nature

There is always some disturbance created. Always some motion set. The force, however timid, transcends In a motion applied onto the ripples. Something is set off, fire they say Ambers glowing, ashes on the way. Always seeks admiration, follows the heartbreak. For the balance, for the world to run. For the universe to conspire the luck. He searches for the art within him. This quest questions the integrity. Integrity of evolution. The question lies, hence the shatteredness. The violence for an individual. For a survivor. The thoughts arent the only to survive. The effects do...the energy, the feeling, the aura, the emotions, the passion, the life, the unseen, the abstract, the complete, the wholesome, the sense, the miracle,..........

The bone man

He is a girl. Dressed up as a guy. Flaunts their laughs with a joy Smears their pain with a sneark Given his legs and his joints He puzzles himself for one another. The bones of his fingers shake their muscles. And he goes on for another cover. He stands tall, a lanky on a trip. Gives in for nothing unless he senses.
His eyes are his senses. He sees what he wants to see.
He wants what he sees. She wishes his waves be paused. And he too isnt another world.
He wants an appalause. One fine day he sees her.
They see but dont remember.
They watch and they do not see.
They talk but they donot mean.
Sarcasm.
They fight in which they love.
They love but they are fighting.
The glow of her face resembles something else.
Its not love. Confusion.
The show must go on...

There are no coincidences. The soul seeks its own!

Life is full of luck, like getting dealt a good hand, or simply by being in the right place at the right time. Some people get luck handed to them, a second chance, a save. It can happen heroically, or by a simple coincidence. Here's what life surprised me by once.

I was on a trek alone to the Everest region once during mid- september 2016. I was feeling tired after a stern trek for seven hours to this this place (Machermo) on the steep hills facing the mountains. The whole thing was difficult. I was a lady and I was all by myself. I had a 'Its okay' feeling however. Solemn walks and treks always fascinate me. I was having all the best views in the world one could get. I was seeing the Everest breathing the clouds that enveloped the cluster of houses in the ridge while I warmed myself up inside the dining. Around me, there were a few strangers and they were not from Nepal. Being a Nepalese, I was feeling a sleek loneliness due to the lack of Nepalipan in that place. I decided to fling off this loneliness and talked to the lady owner for a while. She was a warm lady. She had offered me a sleep, charging facility and wifi for the night, free of cost. She was talking to me, awed having known that I was a Nepalese woman travelling alone on a mountain trek. I was however unsettled by the belief this modern day society holds about women travelling alone. But I am a woman who loves peace and at times, is conscious enough to calculate risks and returns.I decided to read for a while.

I had read a few lines from "Karodau Kasturi" while a male voice interrupted. " Hi! where are you from?". I felt provoked because his voice was so sonorous that it woke up the dead. And I was concentrating just for a while.

He looked glaringly all over me while I halted over his eyes. They were not curious and they presumed. He looked like a Nepali guy but his voice was manufactured with a plastic sense of Englishmanship. "Are you travelling alone?", He asked. This time he was so meek and his voice lowered a lot. When I was about to answer his washed-out conversation approach by a "why do you ask?", he sat down next to me. " So how are you today? Its a sexy weather huh". He said in an affected English tone as he scanned loosely around. He stopped at me and gave this wink and cracked a pushy smile. He then turned towards a bunch of Chinese in the other table and gave this charitable gesture of HELLO. I was watching all this without anything to speak. It was inordinary. I was surprised by this approach of a forged Nepali who makes himself a camouflage through regular indulgence with strayed foreigners and gifts himself this PEACEFUL attitude. He was probably a guide who was so oversure of how he excited strangers. Maybe he was high on something.

"I am Toni. I was born Nepali. You know I am from Darjelling. Where are you from?" Now that he had sat on my table, and had a few questions, although naive, I thought it was alright to wind up with an answer. " Nice to know, I am from Kathmandu". I couldn't oversee the stranger's activities on my table and It would be nicer to be hospitable to that guest. I finally thought and asked him if he liked Nepal. " You know I was born in the Annapurna and have treked all the big mountains. And I speak eight languages. English, Nepali, Chinese, Russian,..." I thought to myself what a bombast he was. "...and I got my title Toni there." He bounced and boasted of all he was. I was not even listening. He paused for a while, breathed a long sigh, looked around and said again, " Nice weather huh!". He prosecuted a weary smile enameled with some joy. I knew he just wanted to be there. I couldn't know why. I smiled back. He looked at me with a known conjecture. He rubbed his hands while he looked at them. "Are you alone tonight? I, I, I mean are you travelling alone? I thought you were alone and so I wanted to talk." He tried to figure out. I was cautious now while I cooked up about his reason for breaking in on my table all of a sudden. " Not actually, I have my friends coming tomorrow. I am waiting for them." He then took no time to show his true cast and reveal his intentions. " Oh, good good. You know", he asked hastily. " Do you wanna hang around tonight? I, I, I mean ha- have fun?" I knew that people lived in this earth with a dick in their heads. I looked at this dickhead. I thought with all my intentions to teach him a good lesson for hitting on a lone traveler. I looked around. There on the corner were two guys looking at us with all curiosity. When I looked at them, they turned away. One of them was a foreigner. My heart trembled. I thought that it was not a good idea to get involved in this. I was surrounded now by a thirsty bunch who would never give away to horn me in. I decided to device a plan that would take these guys away from me. I took my phone and looked at my call log. The first number rang one of my friends in Kathmandu. He is a good friend of mine, a guy with a full fledged physique and a powerful dominance over his peers. He runs a squad of guys who deal in tenders and sophisticated deals. I don't know why I called him. He picked up the phone. I asked him an invented question for which I didn't know how he would respond. I needed to get these guys off of me now. " Where did you reach Mangal?" I was thinking to make it sound like he was on the way and I was about to meet him in next few hours, while he answered," How did you find out? It was meant to be a surprise. We four, Sapana, Bibek, Prakash and Swami are coming. We are just a few mins down from Machermo. wait for us!!" This voice crafted my cold sweat into a triumph which I never imagined.

I looked at this man like a wailing siren....

“You must be the change you want to see!”

While everyone is busy talking about making life meaningful by looking beyond oneselves, a group of ordinary guys decided to make it happen. This is a story of a mere group of dreamers who always wished to see their town clean. These guys didn’t just hang around along their regular adda, but also gave it its deserved life. They decided to make it clean, out of mess. Not only they decided to clean the surrounding, they further brain- scratched on putting up a banner. A banner that would describe this place as well as explain the mountains one sees from this place. And with a sitting facility across this place, they say that every visitor would be overwhelmed and be happy for being there. They are even planning to build up such setting in the most happening places around the town. I think this team of Tamghas, Gulmi deserves every kind attention for their initiative. A huge round of applause for the guys who decided to think for the whole. This is called growth! Kudos!!!

The gross Silence

#DustyNEP

The silence has been grossly understood by the modern day changing society.

The perks of travelling has always fascinated many souls.

The beautiful landscapes and smiles comes to life with first hand experience.

To fuel the imagination away from the toxic air exploration increases the average ratio of thinking for a mile radius.

when was the lat time you had thought beyond butt-to-chair, on grass land and snowy mountains.

When was the last time you heard yourself thinking. Is only a vivid imagination enough for the creativity to unleash.

I bet you might not have heard the sounds the moving mountains make.

The trance of silence is the real heal from this hustling and bustling busy world.

When if the last time you were a tourist ?????????

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Alcohol and Lust

Although we have met for the first time, there has been an acute chemistry between us. Maybe because we have been talking for hours. Yes, on usual topics- studies, career and of course humour. I can tell she was into me everytime i talked. I was making her laugh as swell. There is a difference between us. I am a naive guy but she is a beautiful girl with a sense. She is contended and full of thoughts. She is an ideal love material. The way she talks with me is just like my good lady would talk to me. I can only say for now- she is a girl that i have wanted for my life. She is drinking in joy and doesn't seem drunk. I am just hoping that she would lay on my arms and make me love her for the rest of the night. I want to sleep with her. I want to feel her untouched skin and share with her my intimate hours. I want to share with her the pleasure thats worth cherishig.I want to be her man for the night and feel her in every possible way...

The sound of birds chirping, the vehicles and the horns, the morning glow, I slowly open my eyes to find myself sleeping alone. As I verify everything, i am hit by the event last night.

So I tried to remember the day.

The jumps and laughter, carefree time.

The songs that we sang I remember. The dance we danced, the passerbys passing a judge- gaze, I remember.

From the previous records, I am proven to be a walking and talking mess. So the same thought has been occupying my mind now- the mess I created and a hopelessness beyond repair.

It is only 5:00 in the morning and I have no guts to walk to her to hear my mess last night. I am nervous. I decide not to wake other friends up to hear about the night .

I get off from the bed to pee I can clearly feel that I am still tipsy.Fuck I am good at ruining relationships because of my unhealthy drinking habits and messing things around !

Tired guessing and thinking, I lit a cigarette and decided to prepare for the day. And about her, she was not alongside me when i woke up. I looked for her around but she is gone.And now i feel that the worst part of yesterday was me waking up alone this morning. And do you know what the best part is? Me remembering nothing at all!!!

The fool

There were carpets of joy in the naked hill.The fool was curious about the colors they wore, He was excited to see so many twigs of red, green, white, maroon and violet. He was disappointed that he was just grey. He shuffled through each of the colors. He asked the blue why it was blue. The blue silently layed there and didn't say nothing. He also asked the white why it was white. The white also said nothing but blushed whiter. Anguished, the fool tore a needle of a silent pine.The needle accepted the violence peacefully. The fool envied the submission. He decided to burn the pine down. From the flames, a fragrance spurred. The hill was clouded by an aura. A mountain of perfume enveloped the fool. The fool decided not to give up. He then flew above the clouds and lit the sun. Heat engulfed the hill. The carpets were ashes. The perfume disappeared. The hill melted. The fool laughed hysterically. He had won. The only color left was grey!!!